so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
