We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Randomize