Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
You smell like stripper and shame
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
