If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
I love you.
Bad choice
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
