My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
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