Don't you send me to vm
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize