So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize
