he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
His hands were made for my vagina.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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