drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
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