Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
