sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
