lets start a swedish sibling band together
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
