Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
