someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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