life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
I am full of burrito and curiosity
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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