Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
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