just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
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