Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Randomize
