can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Randomize
