I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
