I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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