is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Barsexuality is the new black.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
