Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.