Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
