How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
this will be a night to untag.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
