We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
im holly from the hills drunk
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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