Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
