I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize