She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Randomize
