its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Randomize
