you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
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