I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
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