Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
