And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Randomize
