An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
