Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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