is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
