woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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