So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
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