I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
