Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I have already put on my inside pants.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
