ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
