rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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