awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
