What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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