i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
