You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
babies were throwing up all over the place
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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