i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
