There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
