Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
