he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
