I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
