3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
I'm way too hungover for life right now
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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