would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
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