hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
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