Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
