Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Randomize
